Thursday 21 February 2013

No! We are going to Namibia - Crafty Tales from the Wilderness

My darling daughter was planning a bi-annual trip to South Africa in search of some peace, quiet and sunshine as the UK seemed to bypass summer last year!

"I just want to chill" she tells me - she is very good a chilling, unlike her Mother. 

After plotting and scheming for a few days I come up with the idea that we really must go and see Namibia. It doesn't look that far- on the map. I consult with Mr Dundee, who says “Oh it’s no problem, not too far at all really”.

I decide to ‘break’ the journey by booking a couple of stops along the way. So we set off and after a 9 hour drive we arrive at Augrabies Falls which we visit the following day. Quite disappointing really but after seeing Victoria Falls everything else would be. 

The next morning, rested, we make our way to The Fish River Canyon. We travel along happily - after all we do have a Stephen Fry audiobook to keep us company. 

After a couple of hours we have to turn off on to‘dirt’ road on which we stayed for 6 hours. It was a teeth chattering, dust swallowing nightmare of a journey and we were not happy bunnies. 

Finally a sign of life a little road side cafĂ© called Pit Stop. An amazing place in the middle of nowhere surrounded by broken down old cars with huge cacti plants growing through them. 

We enter for much needed refreshment and of course the loo! As we both run to the loo we are greeted with a larger than life picture of the most physically amazing naked male you are ever likely to see. Except he had a little ‘box’ where his 'essentials' were supposed to be!! The sign said "open to see the Songalola" (huge millipede) - we resisted as we needed a drink more urgently!!

Back at the bar Marcus has returned from the Gents and we are telling him our story. Apparently "there was also the most amazing woman in the men’s toilet with a ‘Pandora’s Box" which he also resisted.  

Whilst arguing over the likelihood of him resisting the temptation, the barman came to his rescue and told us that if anyone opens either of the boxes a very loud alarm goes off in the bar and everyone, all six of them,  knows what you are doing! Phew!! Narrowly missed dying of embarrassment there.

Onward and forward we reach Fish River Canyon, amazing, awesome and in the future (when I have recovered from the drive) maybe worth the journey.

Next stop the Great Namib Desert - more miles of teeth chattering and dust swallowing and we run out of Stephen Fry. We watch as the already arid terrain turns eerily into desert and nothingness. Finally we arrive at our destination of the largest dune of the desert and check in to our hotel. "It’s %$^&* hot", in the words of Ray Winston in Sexy Beast, I hope you saw the movie? 

The wind is howling and I can only describe it as being ‘sand blasted’. But, when the sun goes down it is amazingly beautiful.

The next day we climb the Big Daddy and toboggan down the other side. At the end of the day I have heat stroke, dehydration, travel sickness and am losing the will to live. But what a blast!!!!!!!!!!!

Melanie is coming back this month and I have promised that we will not go anywhere, just chill.  Well, except for a couple of days around my birthday? 
Linda xxxx
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1 comment:

  1. Amazing! Your tales of life are always so wonderful. Phew, I couldn't have coped with the heat...or the temptation. I would have opened the box!!